So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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