I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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