wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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