You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
