i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize