Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
