i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
