my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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