matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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