textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize