then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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