i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
