i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
