You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize