we're blogging at a bar
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wear drunk well.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
