ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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