oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
