Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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