tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
