shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
