am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
