My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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