@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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