SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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