I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
