Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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