honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
