I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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