dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
