In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
