That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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