he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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