Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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