Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
