never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize