Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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