Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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