Say something about gay babies.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
