Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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