but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
