She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
