I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
