i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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