Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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