i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
