She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
