ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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