help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
