Who wears a wallet chain?!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Blood and glitter go together right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
