That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
