Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
