Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
