Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
