I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think i scared a bird with my dick
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize