super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
