Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
