my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
