just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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