you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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