when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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