haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
A+ Viking dick
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
