Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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