"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
